I wrote the following post for a friend’s website and thought, why not post it here? And so…
Self-love can be a difficult thing to truly and completely embody – it’s easier said than done. It’s a long journey, in not just getting to know yourself but in accepting yourself. How we go about doing that will look different for each person.
For me, self-love lies more in what I choose not to do, rather than what I do, do. You can take all the “me time”, massages and baths you want but if it’s only acting as a band-aid to the not so pleasant things and feelings in life, you never get to the root of the problem. For me, the feeling of self-love came most strongly from what I chose to eliminate. Knowing what actions didn’t serve me, what people were not good for me. I felt more self-love and self-respect in making the tougher decisions, in setting boundaries and saying no then in any traditional act of self-love.
There is nothing wrong with incorporating routines that make you feel good, but I found I’ve come to understand the concept more clearly when I think about it from the perspective of “what can I stop doing?” instead. Regardless of how you choose to show yourself love, one more concept we can’t forget that should always come alongside self- love is self-forgiveness. Our paths will never be perfect and forgiving ourselves and learning as we move through this journey is perhaps the greatest form of self-love there is.